I know, I know, I know, I have crucified this blog with laziness over the last few months. But sloth is a mortal sin, and something had to die for it, right? Okay, so Easter has come and gone and the metaphor scores way off the charts of the groan factor scale, but when your humor consists entirely of bad puns and the spontaneous slapstick of falling down any variation of stairs nearly every day on campus, you take what you can get, or desecrate in this case. So, consider this a belated re-birth, like if Jesus had woken up, done that rock-moving business, stretched his arms outside of the tomb and said through a yawn, "Now where is the other half of that broken bread? I get the whole guilty-by-association thing, but if Peter thinks he can deny me leftovers after seven days, hes got another thing coming," and then went to find some grub before ascending into heaven.
Perhaps the title of this post lends itself more to the analogy of an even worse sequel to a terrible horror movie. My wit has dried up like ketchup blood on a zombie. But like bad sequels, I will keep coming back time and time again, raking in minimum viewership, because you know, there just aren’t enough bloggers these days. It’s a tough job, but someone has to be a voice for the over-represented.
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A new study from a Duke University researcher found a correlation between the Apple logo and imagination. Participants who were exposed to the logo for a longer period time became more creative. Also, hungrier.
Rioters in Paris this week protested the summer Olympics in Beijing by successfully extinguishing the Olympic torch many times as it passed through the city. The protest backfired, as officials could just reach over and re-light it on the nearest burning flag.
George Lucas is suing a British prop maker for using the original Storm Trooper suit mold to make and sell replicas of the outfit, because the guy’s consumer base of thirty-year old guys living out of their parents basements have historically cheated the Star Wars brand out of revenue.
Another study has shown that iPods may interfere with pacemakers, giving a whole new listening experience to the song Achy Breaky Heart.
An obscure glacier in Chile has melted and caused a huge but non-fatal tsunami in a nearby river. Consequently, the country is changing its name from Chile to Hot Tamale (I told you my wit was rusty)
Hillary Clinton released a $4 billion anti-crime plan. Her main point in combating recidivism is personally promising to be criminals’ cell mate.
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I told you, it’s been a while, or two or three, really. From now on, you have my undying dedication to this blog until I forget about it again.
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